Monday, January 21, 2008

Do I have the energy??!

With both of us being really sick last month while we were on holiday, not very much action took place (stop reading now if you really don't care!). I decided once we were hale and hearty that this month could be different.

We have a short trip over a weekend to a European capital, sounds perfect, especially (so those mice-and-men type plans went) given where it was in my cycle. But a lot of ganging agley has happened, with my cycle realigning itself earlier, and the three previous days being a work visit for me, and it looks like unless things get more delayed this cycle, we'll need to get active a few days earlier, and time it a bit better (I said stop reading - but basically morning I'm leaving on the trip, plus evening he joins me).

Question is, do I a) explain this to him in graphic detail or b) say I'm disappointed we'll miss the best days but can we do our best or c) not tell him anything and just try and persuade him I've been deprived/know I'm going to miss him loads??!

I have occasionally in the past suggested "the meter says today is a good day" and it's not been received totally negatively, but usually it's been in a situation where either today or tomorrow would do equally well. He doesn't have performance issues as such (the pointy pills, small yellow triangular ones not blue ones, are for his diabetes. The blue ones have to be taken on an empty stomach and interfere with digestion - how useful is that for diabetics who have to eat regularly?) but hates feeling pressured emotionally. He doesn't need the pointy pills that often, anyway, so it's not a case of needing advance notice.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Now I've gone and done it.

Come back! Come back! All is forgiven! Of course I didn't mean I was going to delete your blog from bloglines.

Here's what. I promise I'll never delete anyone's blog that has commented on my blog. That should give you sufficient reason to never comment on mine.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Plus ca change...

New fretting this week - my period arrived two days early, despite knowing when I ovulated (at least, I know the earliest possible). I've never had a variable luteal phase, nor much in the way of spotting, so I'm panicking my reproductive system is packing up. Of course I know it hasn't and this can happen, but you know how it is. The dreadful cold that is only just going away meant precious little chance of anything other than a period, though, so I wasn't too surprised.

We are seeing a different social worker for the fostering tomorrow (the one we saw previously seemed really relaxed, probably because she was just about to retire. She didn't tell us that bit). I'm working from home so I guess it will be my lunch hour. Mr Spouse is still job-hunting so it's a good time to start the process - though I'm not actually clear if she is wanting another introductory chat, or this is the start of the home study proper. It's not normally done till after the preparation course in adoption, but perhaps they just want to get on with it for foster carers.

Almost everyone on my bloglines seems to be pregnant, even the ones in my "infertility/miscarriage/adoption" category, apart of course from the ones that have been matched with children. I only have one "parents" category (no "parenting after..." versus "never had any trouble...") but all the ones who are pregnant there, too, seem to be ones who graduated from the other category. Perhaps I want the bloggers I read to have a big struggle rather than just an average one as I'm thinking of crossing a few people off. Although some of them are people who have had a big struggle but I don't seem to be able to keep up with their prolific posting - I don't seem to read blogs as much these days.

Strangely, though, one of the most prolific blogs (Daddy Types) is so not about infertiles, and I would never delete that one. They have such fun toys!

On another note, why oh why oh why does Blogger tell me at least three times every time I bring it up that I don't have cookies enabled? On about the third or fourth attempt it will then show me the dashboard as if it had never refused me anything.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Not another pregnant friend

That could be read as "Not another pregnant friend" (why do the have the temerity to keep reproducing when we can't?) or "My friend is not pregnant/no longer pregnant". In fact it is "Not your average pregnant friend". Our friend M has just had her 20 week anomaly scan and all was well. This after 3 unexplained miscarriages (and a possible fourth very early one). She is 44. We are very pleased for her. I do not feel any of the normal jealousy - I just feel this is a hopeful sign for us.

I rang the friend with the failed ICSI after Christmas and had a nice long chat and she is obviously finding the twins news hard. She heard the day after her period started (she was asked to test on a set day anyway and so it was the day before she got a negative test). She is a very positive person and seems to be putting a brave face on it but must make a mental note to call her often and see how she is doing. I don't call my friends enough.

We spent King's Day with my nieces who are mainly nice and (although my mother has opinions on everything and anything) on the whole thriving though I am heartily glad we were staying down the road and not with them, given the lack of bedtimes (I know their little cousins have later bedtimes than British kids, but they have them) and my brother's insistence that his children will not need to go to school because he will be able to teach them everything they need to know, and ditto that I know nothing about current research into the best educational methods.

I should be back at work but I have the tail end of dreadful flu and a meeting which involves a long journey - part of it tomorrow and part on Monday - so I am ignoring work and nagging Mr Spouse and blogging.