When you become a parent after infertility or loss, or actually I imagine when you become a parent through adoption even if you can have or do have biological children, there is an unspoken assumption that you are not allowed to complain. You wanted this. You can't complain.
I am sorry to say I have definitely been complaining. I have been known to count the hours/minutes until we can put Baby Spouse to bed. I have been happy at the thought of a morning when he is in nursery but I am not working, so I can get some time to myself. Ditto at the idea of heading to the shops while he is napping and Mr Spouse is at home.
But I do think I am enjoying being a mother at least as much, and in some cases more, than those I know to whom it came easily. For some it seems to be an endless round of delight (read: not telling us the whole truth). Some will counter every "oh he NEVER SLEEPS" with "oh be patient, they are tiny for such a short time". But others seem to have a really hard time of it, and to never be cheerful or actually enjoy their babies. There is one mother of a baby the same age that I know who never seems to smile - possibly her personality, but I do wonder if she ever smiles at the baby.
I'm enjoying things I didn't really think I would, or that I never thought of. I'm enjoying working out how to adapt our family meals for him (I do like cooking though). I'm enjoying making faces at him and vice versa. I'm enjoying the smug feeling of putting a load of nappies in the washing machine! I'm even enjoying singing nursery rhymes (though I have some lines I draw in the sand over that. I will not sing some songs at all, and I will only sing The Wheels on the Bus in order to administer an inhaler). And I'm enjoying listening to him chat to himself while he does NOT take a nap. Sigh.
Comments left at If you Don't Stand for Something
Sweet Dreams are Made of This
Creating a Family
Bebe Suisse
IVF after 40
And returned to
Our work of A.R.T.
(There are a couple of blogs on the ICLW blogroll that are private, but don't say so, or have incorrect URLs. Harumph).
3 comments:
Hi from ICLW. You have every right to complain just like anyone else does on this planet.
I think it's abnormal not to complain at least a little. Plus it sets a bad example for every one else. A friend of mine was really shocked when she realized having is baby is hard work.
:-)
Thanks for stopping by for ICLW. Love your blog!
I'm with you on counting down the minutes 'til bedtime. Not every night, but oh my goodness those nights when she's sleepy and her teeth hurt and she screams her way through dinner... Despite all that, I still love it so, so much!
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